This was the play that introduced me to william shakespeare. I knew nothing of shakespeare until I read, excuse me,was FORCED to read the story of Romeo and Juliet in my 9th grade english class (chyna if your reading this you know what Im talking about). It was a fun class we'd put on our horrible british accents and read it out loud and even acted out a few of the scenes and when we were done reading we watched Romeo and Juliet (the one with Leonardo Dicaprio, which was great by the way).
So whats my beef with Romeo and Juliet? when you think about it the whole love story is ridiculous it took me a couple years to realize just how ridiculous it was because I was young, ignorant, stupid, and fangirling over leonardo dicaprio at the time. But yeah the love story is stupid. Why is it stupid? My most dominant reason is people dont fall crazy in love within a 2 day period, you just dont. That shit only happens in vegas. But lets back track for a minute one of our main characters, Romeo is all pissy and emo because his crush Rosaline wont "open her lap to saint seducing gold" in other words he's not getting any booty. So Romeo is just walking around with a pair of blue balls in his pants and then he sees Juliet, the daughter of his enemy, the Capulets. But does that stop him HELLS NO he gets all up in that and quick, screw that cockblocking tramp Rosaline. On the first day he meets Juliet at this party and starts goin to work pronto confessing his love and all that stuff and she's all yeah Im totally into you too. Then in that SAME night he's reciting a sonnet to her in her window. You all know the one:
"But soft what light through yonder window breaks" bla bla bla
and then he proposes! I wish a man would outright propose to me right after I told him my name (insert sarcasm here) So the next day, to sum this whole thing up:
1. They get married
2. Romeo gets banished for killing juliet's cousin (but not before getting at least one night of nookie)
3.Juliet gets poison thats supposed to give her a "pretend" death
4. Romeo thinks she's dead and buys real poison from an apothecary(drug dealer) and kills himself
5.Juliet wakes up notices that he's dead and takes his knife and kills herself
These two were about as immature and impulsive as your average teenager mind you in this story Romeo and Juliet are supposed to be like 13 years old. But you know what I cant really judge them on that because at that time I guess at that age it was okay to marry and screw around. BUT STILL!
Juliet: I love you even though I dont know your last name
Romeo: and I love you because unlike some people *cough* Rosaline*cough* you give me sex when I so desperately crave it.
Oh yeah, this is the greatest love story ever told (rolls eyes) yeah let us all go by their example, minus the killing ourselves.
Personally my favorite shakespeare play is Othello but thats another note. I dont hate Romeo and Juliet, in fact every now and then I still read the play. But you gotta admit some of this is pretty absurd.
So remember kids love is not love unless you are dying for the one youve just met 10 minutes ago in the lunch line.
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