Amber and Religion

Religion is a touchy subject that no one really likes to talk about because everyone has their own views and opinions. Everybody wants to know the big questions: Who am I, Why am I here, etc. In my opinion religion makes people feel safe and secure. People find comfort in the knowledge that there is a higher power that oversees all and is always there to comfort them in their time of need and hardship.
 I am for the christian belief. Notice that I did not call myself a Christian. To me referring to myself as a Christian is a form of labeling and if you all know me then you know that I am not one for labeling unless its my name lol. I am Amber, not Amber the Christian, not Amber the black girl, just Amber. Now I know youre all probably thinking "Well Amber, if you embrace the Christian faith, doesnt that make you a christian?" yes, it does but to call myself one just sounds weird to me. I love the lort. We have our disputes and he doesnt return my calls from time to time but we're still cool. Youd think he'd have the best phone service in the world  but obviously not. Switch to verizon! Catholics have it worse because they have to talk to god's secretary (Mary) just to reach him. Mary has to see if he's available and if he isnt you can leave a message or simply schedule your next appointment. (no offense to Catholics)
DIE HARD believers really just make me laugh uncontrollably, Jehovah witnesses are aliens that try to probe you and drag you back to their mothership, Buddhists worship a golden fat man (or is it the 6 armed woman who looks like Sheeva from Mortal Kombat?) *thinks* who knows. For the die hard believers, shoving your beliefs down someones throat does not bring them closer to the lort. If anything it pushes them further away. What people fail to realize is that we are given a choice. You can choose to believe or not to believe. Assuming that there's a god, god has given us all free will. Throwing a bible at someone because they dont attend church every sunday is not only painful but stupid (speaking from experience).
Now the issue with this whole apocalypse thats supposed to happen on the 21st of may or dec 2012 or whatever is just crap. I just dont care. The way I see it if there is going to be an end of the world, Id rather not know about it. All I ask is  that if Im to die make it quick and painless. And if theres a heaven I want a house full of hot topless guys who tend to my every need while I sit by the pool sunbathing and sipping champagne. Thats all that I ask I dont think thats too much.